i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
