You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
