My liver just broke up with me...
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
The ass gains better be worth it
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
