Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
