My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
