considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I believe in your delicious
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
