I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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