I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
