we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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