I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
