i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
