I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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