He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
