At least make sure they are 18
Why
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
