Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
