dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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