Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
