There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
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