If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize