Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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