Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
