i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
