i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
