i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
