just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
