I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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