4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
send nudes
from the living room?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
