i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
