Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
