she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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