Ambien. No doubt about it.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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