who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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