It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
