I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
