Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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