We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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