But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
