Can Purell be used as lube?
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
