a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
