Taylor Swift is so right about you.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
