His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Randomize
