you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I'm too high and old for this...
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
