Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
