guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
