you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
