Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
