First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
