I love black thongs
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Randomize
