my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
