That's intense
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
