Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(858): View more from California

you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.

Fav 2 916 1709
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(909): View more from California

It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity

(909): View more from California

Something's gotta give!

Fav 23 906 1883
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(519): View more from Ontario

No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.

Fav 15 1069 2065
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.

Fav 3 755 1230
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(310): View more from California

How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?

(323): View more from California

Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.

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