Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
