My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
