Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize