How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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