i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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