At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
time to smoke my breakfast
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
