google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
